What doesn't kill you makes you stronger!

The best and worst of people come shining through when times are tough. Her experience over the last few months simply validated this thought over and over again. Putting herself in the other person’s shoes wasn't easy but she had tried to in order to be somewhat objective about her experience. She felt strongly that the other perspective, however warped it might seem to her at the moment, had to be considered.

And so she did but try as she might, she couldn’t relate to it. She couldn’t relate to the harshness. She couldn’t relate to the coldness. She couldn’t relate to the anger. She couldn’t relate to the thoughtlessness. She couldn’t relate to the pretense...pretense relating to people that they both loved. She couldn’t relate to the ego and how it was taking over judgement and reason. She couldn’t relate to the convenient forgetfulness…of the past that had got them to where they were today.

There was a lot that she couldn’t relate to…and it had been that way for a long time. ‘Once upon a time’ was a distant memory and she was glad for that. Glad that at the end of it all, she would come out stronger, tougher and smarter. She had learned enough valuable life lessons to pass on…and pass on she would, for the future should know. The future shouldn’t have to experience the same. She knew that she had no control over that. All she could control was how she would be with them. Honest, open and forthcoming…about all of it…like she had been all along.

With them…the ones who mattered.

article 2

Second one for sportskeeda on one of my favourite topics.

Published!

Here is the link to my article on sportskeeda.com.

Thanks for reading!

Full circle

Life comes full circle at times…often when you least expect it. 

That was the predominant thought in her mind when she got into the car that morning. She was reminded of days from her past…days where she rushed to get ready and run out to work, days where she cussed while on the road and days when she just missed her train or bus and had to wait another 20 minutes before the next connection. But she also remembered the days that it all clicked and went like clockwork, days where she had the best naps while commuting after a hard day’s work, days where she would chit chat with other regulars, many of whom she didn't even know by name and days where she felt fulfilled and just happy.

Those days had started again for her…

:) :) :) :)

A preachy post - I've warned you!

The planet does not need more successful people. It desperately needs more peacemakers, healers, restorers, storytellers and lovers of all kinds.

I've read this quote a few times before on Facebook. Many people post this on their wall because it resonates with them...the thought that we can actually be something other than "successful"...whatever that means anyway. But the problem is how we convey that message to our children, isn't it?  We want our children to be all of the above but we also want them to be successful in the version of success that we are all familiar with...one where success equals money and financial stability. Maybe a "high-profile job"....something that we can talk to others about, something we can be proud about. Maybe the next hot-shot entrepreneur with the most brilliant idea since sliced bread. Whatever.

And in order to put them on this path to success, we start them off really young too. Extra academics-related classes, competitions, exams outside of school and a host of activities to hone their minds in that singular path towards greatness and spectacular achievement. And we long for them to make us proud, all the while telling ourselves that we are doing it for their benefit. We are exposing them to things that we never had access to. We are making sure that their all-round development is on track...except it's not their chosen track, is it? It's ours! It's our dream for our children and in order to fulfill that dream, we say and do a lot of things to them...for them. We justify to ourselves that the end result is what matters, that our children will thank us some day for what we've invested in them...for what we've put them through.

But what if they don't? What if they felt that we've robbed them of their childhood in so many ways? What if they felt that we failed to expose them to things that matter to them? What if they felt that we forced them to do things that they never wanted to? What if they felt that we didn't listen to them at all? What if they felt that we never bothered to take the time to answer their questions...no matter what their questions might have been? What if they felt that the path that they are on, the one that we chose for them, was wrong?

What if they felt that their version of success isn't what we thought it was? Would it be too late?

As much as we can blame the system of education, we must share an equal, if not a greater part of the blame. We are afraid to let children do what they want because we were never allowed to. We are afraid to let them question because we may not have the answers. We are afraid that they might be outcasts in society because they do not conform. We are afraid to let them express themselves because their views might be different from ours. We are afraid to just let them be, learn at their pace, try out new things, make many mistakes...live their lives!

The dearth of peacemakers, restorers, healers, storytellers and lovers is bound to only worsen should we continue down this path...the path that teaches us that smarter is better, that stronger always wins, that richer means control...that success means money and what money can buy.

Imagine that we just let our children be...

Vishwaroopam - thoughts and things

I don't watch many movies but I've seen my share of good, bad and horrid (what, you thought I was going to say ugly?!). I don't read reviews and I haven't written many either save for this and this. After all the hype surrounding Vishwaroopam, I decided that I must not only watch it but also write about it at some point. So here goes....a couple of weeks after the experience.

My overall take - the movie was awesome! Well-made and good time-pass especially if you like dishum dishum type of films. The plot, as predictable as it was, was well executed. The action scenes and stunts were really Hollywood-like and not Vijaykanth-movie-like (where bombs go off all around him and he comes out unscathed, or when he stays in the air for minutes kicking those around him while all the time defying the laws of gravity). The first half hour had me in splits but I think you have to be a Tam Brahm to appreciate a lot of it :). The soundtrack was really good - the only full-length song in the film was very well done. Kamal's mastery of music and dance and the interest he takes in researching every single thing to death shows clearly (as always).

Now to the controversial aspects of the film...I don't know anything about Muslim customs and practices. So I did not understand the significance of the shaving of body hair, doing the namaz or any other custom before a suicide mission. If I were a staunch Muslim, then maybe I would have taken offense to it simply because of the casualness with which it is portrayed. There is an implication that it is a norm of sorts, which would make not-very-informed audiences assume certain things about Islam and Muslims itself on a larger scale that is totally unfair. So it's understandable that there was an public outcry but I'm not sure if I agree with the extremeness of it...for two reasons.

One - Movies are a form of art and expression. They should be seen objectively and within the context of the whole. Would this movie have had such an impact on people if Al-Qaeda hadn't been mentioned? If Osama hadn't been shown? If Afghanistan wasn't the battleground? If so much attention to detail hadn't been paid? I'm not so sure. There have been similar-themed movies in the recent past and none took the kind of beating that this one did.

Two - Religion tends to evoke certain responses in individuals. A lot of this is our own beliefs, our own staunchness, if you will, in our views...the feeling that mine isn't that bad and yours is the same or possibly worse if you look at it relative to one another. Those for whom religion (any religion) isn't so important, can maybe view all this very objectively...simply look at it for what it is. A movie...some entertainment...and nothing more. So a large part of this is us...and our inner-most feelings on sensitive subjects coming out as a reaction. Add some politics to this and one person's reaction becomes a nation's outcry and the censor board's pet project.

My conclusion - objectivity is the need of the hour...and not just for movies or movie reviews. :)

Qs but not As

What do you do when you realize some things...about yourself, about other people, about your reactions to things, about certain triggers? Like you know that something's going to happen and you know how you're going to react to it even before the event has fully played out. You know it...yet you can't stop it....or you can't change the way you react. Why is that? Why is it so hard to just let some things just be? Why is it so hard to give up that feeling of being in control? Why is it that we end up having expectations of people as we get to know them better? Why is it that they don't react in the way that we want them to? Why does it feel like justification and validity to statements are directly related?

Why aren't there clear answers to so many things? 

The thoughtful boy

He always amazed her with his answers...always! And it wasn't like he had to have the last word or anything, it was just the way he talked. There was a bit of truth, a bit of cheek, a bit of impishness and a whole lot of that lovableness all the time. OK, maybe she was extra biased...but still. And that smile...that wide, ear-to-ear toothy grin that made it impossible for her to stay grumpy at him for more than a few minutes!

So the other day, he was having dinner. It was the usual, so there was no fuss or drama. He ate what he liked and that's it. But he was being a tad messy...dropping food on the table mat and the floor. So she said to him, "Please don't keep dropping your dinner on the floor. Ants will start crawling all over the place". He just looked at her and simply said "But amma, if I don't give the ants something to eat, they will be hungry. I don't want them to be hungry. Is that OK? Say OK"!

Innocence, honesty....the beauty of it. Oh, and the art of charming people! Another lesson learned, yet again, from an almost-five year old!

Revisits and regrets

We all do it...revisiting events, that is. We revisit memories, revisit incidents...revisit the past in any which way we can. Sometimes, the revisits are intended...mostly when the memories are good. But many a time, unintended revisits happen due to random triggers. Dates, people, places, foods, smells, occasions, outfits, conversations...just about anything!

An intentional revisit is just great, isn't it? It can be both happy or sad but the reason you revisit it is because that particular event or memory is special in some way. But what do you do when you revisit something unintentionally, whether happy or sad? Do you recall the moments that got you there? Or do you push them out of your mind hoping that you will forget them if you try hard enough? Surely, all those moments couldn't have been that bad! You wouldn't have got there otherwise, would you?

"Life is a journey, not a destination". I'm not sure who said that but I believe that. If you didn't experience the things that you did, then you wouldn't be the person that you are. Someone else said "Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened".

It's not easy...most definitely not. But through the smiles and the tears, you learn to remember...and to not regret.

It takes all sorts

A lady constantly checking her watch,
A young girl trying to get phone signal,
A child restless to ride her tricycle,
Another tossing about a paper plane much to everyone's annoyance,
A couple exchanging coy looks,
An old man with a grocery bag,
A maid waiting to spit out her paan,
A puppy that needs to pee
And a stalled elevator.

Chaos!

Just pause...it's OK! Look around, learn something new, talk to strangers, make friends, help someone...and be patient. It takes all sorts to make up this world. You'll never find out if you don't take the time, take a break, take a few seconds off ... even if it's forced!